Sunday 28 January 2018

Me, Myself, and I

These three words often get confused and misused, usually when a writer is trying to sound formal.

1964 photo by Chris Ware of two London police officers watching actors in alien costumes cross the street

Just Between You and Me


If you want to seem fancy, you might write, for example, Keep this between you and I. But the correct wording is Keep this between you and me, so you’ve come across as clueless rather than classy. In grammar circles, this kind of overcompensation is called a hypercorrection.

I (the nominative case) is used for the subject of a sentence or clause. Me (the objective case) is used for the object of a verb, the object of a preposition, or the subject of an infinitive.

  • I am from out of town. (subject of sentence)
  • Those cops don’t worry me. (object of verb worry)
  • Nobody comes between me and Zorg. (object of preposition between)
  • Zorg asked me to lead the way. (subject of infinitive verb to lead)

These examples probably seem obvious. It’s when an and (or an or) is involved that people often trip themselves up. The easiest way to avoid mistakes is to try your sentence without the other person.

  • It would be a different matter for you or I.
  • It would be a different matter for I. X
  • It would be a different matter for you or me. 

  • Give the Princess of Zanzibar and I your fealty.
  • Give I your fealty. X
  • Give the Princess of Zanzibar and me your fealty. 

Portrait of the Princess of Zanzibar with her African Attendant by Walter Frier, 1731

I Made It Myself


Myself (the reflexive case) is used either as an intensifier or to show that the action is reflecting back onto the actor.

As an intensifier, myself appears in sentences like I myself don’t dance and I crocheted it myself. You could take out myself and the sentence would still make sense; it’s just there to add emphasis.

The second, reflecting use occurs in sentences like I embarrassed myself. Here, the verb’s subject and its object—the one who embarrasses and the one who gets embarrassed—are the same person.

Again, it’s the ands and ors that throw people off. You can use the same method as above to see whether your sentence needs a reflexive pronoun.

  • I signed my roommate and myself up for Underwater Basket-Weaving 101.
  • I signed myself up for Underwater Basket-Weaving 101. 
  • I signed my roommate and myself up for Underwater Basket-Weaving 101. 

  • Send the kryptonite to my neighbour or myself.
  • Send the kryptonite to myself. X
  • Send the kryptonite to my neighbour or me. 

Don’t be tempted to use myself as a subject. That’s not its job.

  • The saucer’s crew and myself thank you.
  • Myself thank you. X
  • The saucer’s crew and I thank you. 

Even when the subject of the sentence is I, the next pronoun isn’t necessarily myself. Remember, the instigator of the action and the recipient of the action have to be the same person.

  • I called a flying fish to carry my wife and myself home.
  • I called a flying fish to carry myself home. X

Myself is the object of the verb to carry. Even though I is the subject of the sentence, the subject of to carry is fish—it’s the fish who’s going to carry me. Because the fish and I are not the same person, this sentence does not take a reflexive pronoun.

  • I called a flying fish to carry me home. 
  • I called a flying fish to carry my wife and me home. 

Detail from The Temptation of Saint Anthony by Hieronymus Bosch

On Behalf of Me and Myself


Sentences with on behalf of are hard to get right because rephrasing them doesn’t help: you wouldn’t say on behalf of me or on behalf of myself, you’d say on my behalf.

  • Thank you on behalf of the coven and myself.

Myself is the indirect object of the verb thank. The implied subject of thank (i.e., the thanker) is I—as in, I thank you. So the final pronoun is reflexive.

  • The Big Man speaks on behalf of the other Feegles and me.

Here, the subject of speaks, the Big Man, is not the same as its indirect object, me. So we don’t need a reflexive pronoun.

If it helps, you can replace the prepositional phrase on behalf of with the preposition for.

  • I thank you for [the coven and] me. X
  • I thank you for [the coven and] myself. 
  • The Big Man speaks for [the other Feegles and] myself. X
  • The Big Man speaks for [the other Feegles and] me. 

It Is I


One of the more obscure sources of I-versus-me confusion is predicate nominatives: pronouns that follow linking verbs like be, seem, look, or feel. The best-known example is probably when a caller says, “May I speak to the lady of the house?” and you answer, “This is she.”

Of course, you probably don’t answer “This is she,” because few people follow this rule anymore. Saying “It’s me” is far more common than saying “It is I,” which sounds ridiculously pompous and old-fashioned. (A best-selling grammar book pokes fun at this with the tongue-in-cheek title Woe Is I.) Using the nominative case (I, he, she, we, they) after is or was is technically correct but socially awkward. Even the most formal readers are unlikely to fault you for ignoring this rule.

Illustration by Edmund Dulac for Sleeping Beauty, 1910

So Why Should I Care?


In spoken English these mistakes are common, even accepted. You could argue that in casual writing there’s no need to be so persnickety. But consider this scenario: your narrator is a down-to-earth gal who doesn’t give a damn about grammar—who gets hired by the Duke of Lahdidah to find his missing son. If, in trying to make your Duke sound hoity-toity, you pepper his speech with between you and I and the Duchess and myself welcome you, you’re going to ruin the illusion for any readers who pay attention to grammar (and believe me, we’re out there). On the other hand, if you want to convey that a character is trying hard to sound posh but hasn’t had a rigorous education or an elitist upbringing, hypercorrection is the perfect tool.



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Wednesday 3 January 2018

Dangling Modifiers


A dangling (or misplaced) modifier can cause confusion and, often, unintentional hilarity. It’s a word or phrase that’s supposed to describe one thing but, because of how its sentence is written, actually describes something else—often in a way that’s ridiculous, impossible, or absurd.

Harold Lloyd hanging from clock

How to Spot a Dangler


By the rules of English grammar, a descriptive word or group of words (a modifying phrase) always refers to the closest noun or pronoun.

  • Glowing and beeping, we stared up at the alien craft in awe.

The pronoun closest to the modifying phrase glowing and beeping is we. No matter what its writer’s intention may have been, this sentence says we were the ones glowing and beeping, not the alien craft.

How to Un-dangle a Dangler


To fix the last example, we need to rearrange the sentence so the word being described is close to the phrase describing it.

Glowing and beeping, the alien craft hovered while we stared up at it in awe.


X
Upon entering the crypt, my hair stood on end.

Technically, upon entering the crypt describes hair, which admittedly did enter the crypt but presumably not under its own steam. What did enter the crypt was the speaker, who needs to be added to the sentence.

Upon entering the crypt, I felt my hair stand on end.



X
Working in her underwater lair, Dr. Megatroid’s sinister plans soon bore fruit.

Don’t let possessives confuse you. In this sentence it’s not Dr. Megatroid but her plans that are working.

Working in her underwater lair, Dr. Megatroid soon saw her sinister plans bear fruit.



X
A consummate high-wire artist, he assumed her wobbles were feigned—until she plummeted to the floor amid gasps from the audience.

Who is the high-wire artist, the man or the woman? As the sentence is written, it’s the man.

Knowing she was a consummate high-wire artist, he assumed her wobbles were feigned—until she plummeted to the floor amid gasps from the audience.

Now the modifying phrase does describe the closest pronoun, he.

Because she was a consummate high-wire artist, he assumed her wobbles were feigned—until she plummeted to the floor amid gasps from the audience.

Here the modifying phrase has been changed to a subordinate clause.


X
Having mastered the tango and the two-step, learning the electric slide was his next goal.

What does having mastered the tango and the two-step describe here? It describes learning the electric slide, which of course makes no sense. (Learning the electric slide is a gerund phrase, which means it acts as a noun.) The unstated he needs to be added, or the modifying phrase needs to be changed to a subordinate clause.

Having mastered the tango and the two-step, he set learning the electric slide as his next goal.
Since he had mastered the tango and the two-step, learning the electric slide was his next goal.

Early 19th-century illustration of dancers


X
Shaking off her trance, the spirits were scattered in every direction.
Shaking off her trance, she scattered the spirits in every direction.

X
Donning his superhero mask, a sense of his own silliness came over him.
Donning his superhero mask, he was overcome by a sense of his own silliness.
While he was donning his superhero mask, a sense of his own silliness came over him.

Hard-to-Spot Danglers


As in the previous examples, danglers are usually found at the beginning of sentences; however, like Bolshevik spies, they may be lurking anywhere.

X
Providing enough exercise can be a challenge for owners of dogs with small apartments.

Dogs do not, as of this writing, rent apartments, small or otherwise.

Providing enough exercise can be a challenge for dog owners with small apartments.

Participial Prepositions


Sometimes a word or phrase can modify an entire sentence rather than a single noun or pronoun. These participial prepositions—phrases that start with words like assuming, based on, depending, given, including, owing to, and provided—have built-in gravity boots: they never dangle.

Regarding the proposed orgy, it was generally felt that dim lighting would be best for all concerned.
Concerning his wayward daughter who had run off with a fallen seraph, he would only put a hand over his eyes and mutter about feathers.
Barring unusual weather, the balloon should reach Abyssinia by Thursday.

Illustration of early balloonists

Your intentions as a writer may seem obvious to you, but that doesn’t mean they’re obvious to your readers, who may become confused by dangling modifiers or, worse, laugh at them.



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